“Elliott and Eva are here to see you.”
She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She closed them immediately and smiled softly.
“Honey, please tell them that I died yesterday.”
“Not funny… I will tell them that you will be out in fifteen minutes.”
She knew that she had to see her visitors. They had come to support her and express their condolences.
Her brother had been dead for over a month. His unexpected death, no matter how shocking it was, felt straightforward to her. While at her brother’s funeral she found out that her father had died two weeks before her brother. She had not seen her father for twelve years, but his death felt straightforward to her as well.
She sobbed for long four hours when she had been told of her brother’s death. Unbearable anger and pain flowed out of her body with every sob. She cried until no more tears came. She felt deflated. And then she accepted her brother’s death. She was filled with emptiness, but felt no pain. Three days after her brother’s death she accepted her father’s death. She didn't sob. She just let him go, too.
Lying in the cozy bed, she hoped that Elliott and Eva would go away. She always loved this bed, but for the last four weeks it had been everything to her. It was “her” place where she could escape from her outside blurred world. Every single muscle and bone in her body enjoyed the softness of the mattress and pillows and silkiness of the sheets. Could today be just her and her dreams? No visitors, no talk about funerals, no comforting hugs…
She looked at the window. When would they get curtains? She remembered that she had not bought any items for their apartment, except for two small paintings of exotic birds and a wooden sculpture of a woman with disproportionately large legs. The sculpture reminded her of one her best friends. The paintings looked good next to a cage with their African grey parrot. Why she could not hear the parrot? He was usually very talkative when people were around.
She could hear her husband and Elliott. She hoped that her husband would enter the room and announce that the visitors would come some other day. Elliott… she knew him for ages. He was her friend. He was almost like a brother to her and still she slept with him two years ago. It just happened. They were in another city with no spouses around. It happened spontaneously and lasted only a few days. When they came back to their families, she moved on and completely forgot about their short affair. Somehow Elliott could not shake it off. Every time he was around her, he would whisper something tender and provoking into her ear. She liked and disliked it at the same time. She could not do it again.
“Darling, tea is ready. Elliott and Eva brought your favourite cake. Please join us in five minutes.” Her thoughts drifted back to her brother’s death and his funeral.
