Fall evening

“Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find it; knock, and it shall be opened onto you.” This is definitely not what the priest just said. He probably said that everyone was a sinner and we all sinned to some degree in our lives. He probably also mentioned original sin. Why would Adam and Eve eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, which God had forbidden?

She was at Mass at Notre-Dame Basilica. It was in French. Messe en françai... She couldn’t understand a word, but she followed Mass. It incorporated so many different elements: procession of the priest and his attendants to the altar, Bible readings, prayers, hymns accompanied by the organ, symbols and gestures. How many times did she stand up and sit down?

Earlier, the tour lady told the story of James O'Donnell, an Irish American Anglican architect from New York City. He moved to Montreal to build the Basilica from 1823-1829. The architect was so moved by the outcome that he converted to Catholicism. Was that the real reason? He is the only person buried in the crypt of the Basilica.

She sat on the wooden bench and wondered how many had sat there before her. Why did she stay for Mass after the tour? She needed time to herself. The last six months were chaotic. They were filled with many events and many people. They were filled with people’s love, but also with their small and big dramas. She didn’t want to comfort people anymore. She wanted to move on in her life without justifying her decisions to others. She sat on the wooden bench savouring the moment of temporary peace.

In one week she would leave behind the togetherness. She would leave behind a place of strong bonds. She would leave behind a place of fond memories. She loved those she would be leaving behind. Together they used to float like shining stars, circles and spirals in their unique universe. She was ready to leave the familiar universe. She was ready to spread her wings and fly to another unknown universe.

The priest consecrated the bread. Did it really become the body of Christ? People sitting next to each other stood up and shook their hands. They looked genuinely happy. Soon everybody lined up to receive a piece of sacramental bread from the priest. Would she qualify to receive Communion? She was not of Catholic faith or any other faith, but she felt authentic grace for life at that moment. When she approached the priest, he said something in French, probably “the body of Christ”. She hold out her hands and received a round, thin piece of holy bread. She said “Amen” and ate it. Did she just eat the body of the Lord?

She left the basilica feeling renewed. She knew that in one week her life would become more perilous, but it would also become more and more interesting. She remembered her favourite passage from Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert: “Virginia Woolf wrote, ‘Across the broad continent of a woman's life falls the shadow of a sword.’ On one side of that sword, she said, there lies convention and tradition and order, where all is correct. But on the other side of that sword, if you're crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, ‘all is confusion.’ Nothing follows a regular course. Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a more interesting existence to a woman, but you can bet it will be more perilous.” More interesting, but more perilous...